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Ruminate

Think deeply about something.

I use to get caught in cycles of negative thoughts, continuously thinking about the same thought over and over again. Could have. Should have. Would have. Often these thoughts were sad, mad, dark, and hurtful.

 

I truly believed that I was becoming more mindful of my behavior, feelings, emotions, past traumas, and daily stressors. Yet still, I found myself in the shower for hours – Ruminating.


It was time to take a stand and do something. So I began to embrace those thoughts and place them in their rightful places. That could be on a shelf so I could come back and reflect on them when I had the energy. Or I could bring them with me to discuss with my therapist or my person (someone I trust for honest feedback).

Sometimes they ended up in the trash because they were serving me no positive purpose. Or they could

hitch a ride in my pocket so I could think on them throughout the day.

 

Along this journey, I began to make soap that captured the different states of mind I rollercoastered through. My BiPolarity and PTSD are a part of me. Sometimes they threaten to overwhelm me, trying to kill me emotionally, spiritually, and, yes, even physically. But hiding from them is not the answer. No matter what, I must show up and be present in my life, during the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sharing these soaps with the world is a way for me to bring light to my darkness. This is my journey.

 

Maybe you're clinging to a lifeboat in the middle of a storm. Know you are not alone. Know that there is a way out. Know that it is possible. My experience proves that it is, and it begins with self-care.

I Am The Evidence!

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